waiting for something to break

A couple of weeks back, I had a job interview that featured some of the standard job interview questions. One was, "What is your dream job?" The position I was there for — or at least the building that the position was in — came pretty close, I thought. At least until I can retire and be a feisty old lady who owns a bar.

But what David Chase reminded me during his Emmy acceptance speech last night, and what I thought of again this morning as I started up the season finale of "Rescue Me" and the Lemonheads' "My Drug Buddy" opened the show, is that my actual dream job (does this job even really exist?) is to pick the songs to play over TV shows and movie scenes, crucial montages especially.

This is probably only a part-time gig that I could still do while holding down a full-time job. So yes, I'm available for that immediately and forever.

And here's "Rudderless." It's not "My Drug Buddy" — it's better.

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don't answer me

News anchor: ... and something something rugby rage.

Me: Dollie, I think I have rugby rage.

Dollie: I would not be surprised.

Me: Huh? What is that supposed to mean?!

Dollie: I don't know. It just seemed like the only appropriate response.

it's not a f-ing school play production

These were my first VMAs as a civilian since 1999.

What did I think? Well, I can't remember much, as I am a teeny bit drunk (I don't know how many Ginger-Pear Explosions I had — seriously, we need a real name for these drinks. I invented them during the NHL playoffs to take the edge off. They feature Absolute Pears, fresh ginger, lime and ginger ale — but it was more than three). But I do know that Britney Spears was terrible (WAKE UP, snoozy!), Fall Out Boy looked terrible (though I do love them lately, for some reason) and Gym Class Heroes winning ANYTHING is beyond terrible. Someday, when I am confident that I can do it while keeping my blood pressure in a safe range, I will explain every single thing that is wrong with their despicable "Clothes Off."

But yeah, Chris Brown is pretty great, Nelly Furtado seemed insanely drunk, Sarah Silverman said something that made me laugh for the FIRST TIME EVER (no idea what it was now), and I can't stop loving Linkin Park. Or Rihanna.

In wedding news (What wedding? Who knows?!) no one had on a look that I wanted to emulate for my wedding — like J. Lo rocked before — but I did enjoy Alicia Keys' appropriation of George Michael's "Freedom '90," which I will surely play (the real thing, I mean) at my wedding. The song takes you on a dance journey. Plus "I don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me" is too right-on to pass up.

OK, also, where the bleep was Fabrice Fabrice?

So yeah, I watched closely, from the 8PM pre-show to Sway's delightful 11:17ish sign off. When it was all over, I went back to my new non-reality, that which I know and love. "Flight of the Conchords," of course.

our love goes under the knife

Idolator tells me that Charlotte Gainsbourg had surgery for a brain hemorrhage today. This reminds me that I should show you "The Operation," in case you've missed it.

Is that incredibly tasteless? Probably. It isn't meant to be. It's just that reading news about her reminded me that I have neglected to note that I love her — her songs, her hair (obviously), her face, her way. Jarvis Cocker wrote almost every song on 5:55 (Air and Neil Hannon worked on it too). That helps explain why I like it so much, but I like it more than Jarvis' solo album, so clearly Charlotte herself is a big part of the greatness. Anyway, here's "The Operation." Love it.

just another day

On Monday, I asked Dollie, "Whoa, are the VMAs this weekend?"

They are. September 9. Sunday. It's a date that would be chiseled into my brain, leaving permanent damage, a day that would be my only focus had I not done something crazy on May 9. (That'd be announcing my resignation, for those of you who missed the memo.)

For real, MTV, I watch "The Hills," "The Real World," "Newport Harbor" and the odd "Engaged & Underage" — if I worked there until July, continue to watch the channel AND STILL don't know when the VMAs are, the promos are lacking.

But anyway, I'm free on Sunday night!

2000. 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. 2006 — I know where I was (1515, 770, home in front of the computer) and what I was doing (working hard, crying, laughing, yelling).

For the first time in a very long time, I will enjoy the show (I think. I'm not even sure who's performing or who's up for prizes) as a spectator. And I'm having a party.

'sofa king hot'

It's the first day back at work after a lovely long weekend for many, and if you need a boost, I recommend, as ever, Crunk + Disorderly.

Fresh had me laughing out loud twice in a row just now, due to her assessment of Richard Williams' dangerously "hot steps" and the "I vote Lloyd Banks"/"I still have every intention of backing Kenny Chesney" rip on 50 Cent. The woman is a genius.

please leave those poor sick monkeys alone

I love "Flight of the Conchords," the HBO show. And I love Flight of the Conchords, the act — though it took creating a sitcom around the songs for me to truly appreciate lines like "They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers/ But what's the real cost 'cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper" (Love it for yourself!)

Bret and Jemaine are both lovely and amazing, but I am crazy about only one. The funny thing is that everyone I know has been able to guess which one. I am afraid to ask why.

It is Jemaine ("of course," you may be saying, if you know me.)

And here is a picture of him laughing and wearing a magnificent shirt.

It looks like it is from a party. I wasn't at that party. Instead I took the photo from Jemaine.com.

What is the point of all of this? Well, none really. Except the last episode of the show is on in about 15 minutes, and I'm already sad that it's all over (until next year). Yes, I've already watched the first 11 episodes several times each. If you have another suggestion to ease my wonderful pain (while I wait for "Eagle Vs. Shark" to either return to NY or hit DVD), I'm all ears.